ALIVE

Hey I can’t say these words about myself

I feel exposed

Like my flesh that burns

and your the billows that fans my coals

of a drowning man’s desires

Like a lie that no one knows

and the secret never told

 I can’t tell you what

Tell you what it means to be alive

I can’t hide

behind the monolith of fear your threats impose

In the veil of night your righteousness explodes

To find the target of your desire

Leave it all to lose the one if at best it’s all undone

As they stoke the fires of contempt

Release the anger, release regret

Your soul is not the price that you paid

Your heart is not the prize

that you came here to save

How I try to see the fallacy of all the lies below

In the Augean stables of my life and in my soul

It’s condonation that I desire

It’s the lie that came to light

in the secrecy of night

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NOW WITHOUT YOU

You walked down the street

when I saw I turned away

I never thought I’d ever see you

after all your runnin’ round away

You called out my name

but you didn’t know what to say

Like you never did before when I was yours and you said you were gonna stay

chorus:

But all of my life now

is not about you

And all of my days now

the sun shines without you

My every move now

goes on without you

Everything I do nothing’s about you

It’s all so simple now without

You said you never knew much more than what you said to me

But you led me right along behind you while you danced and took yourself from me

You and me were not meant to be

You complicated all that I could see (I know that)

You tried to pin me down

on my back but I stood free

So won’t you turn back and walk away from where you came and let me be

chorus:

But all of my life now

is not about you

And all of my days now

the sun shines without you

My every move now

goes on without you

Everything I do nothing’s about you

I won’t have any of my life now be about you

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HEAVY JANIE

There was a blue eyed girl

born with a poker face

A fallen angel who

would grow to run the place

Heavy Janie was

the name her parents gave her

Before her day was through

she would return the favor

Janie developed with

seductive educations

And in her early years it

would earn her reputations

The boys that played her hard would never become her lovers

She only blew their mind when

she got between the covers

chorus:

 Woah Heavy Janie (she’s crazy)

Woah Heavy Janie (she’s my baby)

Janie was busted in the fall of '84

Her plays had grown accustomed

 Her mind had grown a bore

The glory of her passions

had changed her attitudes

So Janie stripped her anger

ran out into the blue

She ran away and met

a motor man named Ray

She spent her mind and took all

his money the next day

She hopped a bus that took her

just past the county line

A sign above waved, "Welcome,

but please don’t waster our time!"

Janie got arrested

had to run from the judge

Along the way

Heavy forgot who she was

For two hundred bucks

she bought a plane to LA

Jane was lost and lonely

but she liked it that way

She thought she found her calling spinning through Hollywood

Wandering over stardom

just like she knew she could

The skies above were open

the boulevard was clean

Her heavy dreams would fill all

the spaces in between

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SHE’S GONE

She walks on pins and needles

‘cause she doesn’t know

there’s one who needs her

But I know where I can find her, in the rain she’ll wash her pain

‘cause she don’t want to feel the same

chorus:

And I’m drowning in her eyes

I feel the heat I need inside

She feels the rain that soaks her head, but all the fears inside her head

That cloud the issues of the moment and she’s gone

Now I’m standing in her doorway

and in her gaze

I lose each word I try to say

And now I froze and lost my step

my voiceless words fall down like rain and in her heart she feels no pain

chorus:

And I’m drowning in her eyes

I feel the heat I need inside

She feels the rain that soaks her head, but all the fears inside her head

That cloud the issues of the moment and she’s gone

Now I walk on pins and needles

‘cause I can’t say how much I need her

But I know where I can find her

in the rain she’ll wash her pain

‘cause she don’t want to feel the same

chorus:

And I’m drowning in her eyes

I feel the heat I need inside

She feels the rain that soaks her head, but all the fears inside her head

That cloud the issues of the moment and she’s gone

She’s Leaving Home

Bye Bye

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TALK HARD

Talk hard rock me gently she said

roll away the voices in my head

Her time is ticking, her heart is beating against the fears that she lay

Between her conscience

and the tragedy she plays

Her voice is ringing when she says

When you’re ready to leave

you can never look behind you

I can’t see you, I can’t hear you

chorus:

Don’t believe her when she says

I know time won’t forget

All the things

that she said when she left

Don’t believe her when she says

All my thoughts I have run to you

oh leave them too

I can’t believe what has come of this

no more can we run no more can we

Kiss the sky, she almost cried

Her voice is ringing when she says

When you’re ready to leave

you can never look behind you

I can’t see you, I can’t hear you

bridge:

It’s her original sin that draws me in

The cracks of the mirror

fallen on the floor

That breaks the reflection

of what I saw before

When you’re ready to leave

you can never look behind you

I can’t see you, I can’t hear you

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SO FAR AWAY FROM YOU

I can’t help but question why

I still can’t leave you behind

My senses are numb

from the war that was won

And I feel I’m crumbling after you

How many nights do I hide

sheltered in dark corners?

Staring up a the sun

you knew that I was the one

And I feel I crumbling after you

So what was that dream I had

where I was lying beside you

I would carry my head in my hands just to be so far away from you

It’s another rain gray day again

but I believe I can run

between rain drops

There go my magic thoughts

to cover up the loss

And I feel I’m crumbling after you

And so I fall from the grace

of my new day

And so I crawl

to look for a new way

Every time I see clear

I confuse faces in fear

And I dream

and I dream

of crumbling after you

WHAT’S LEFT OF MY HEART

Tear down the placards

that you hammered to the wall

Your carnival’s been canceled

there’s no one left to call

Everyone that came to see you

please kindly tell to leave

For this face of mine has hardened

and it’s you I must receive

Walk slowly through my front door when you come to speak your mind

I’d like to grant you mercy

but I haven’t got the time

Just bargain out your memory

if you need to call my bluff

My pride is weak and fading

and I feel I’ve had enough

chorus:

When the stars fall on the city

will you rise to play your part?

Will you try to stop the bleeding

or break what’s left of my heart?

The intoxicated pundits

who questioned all your moves

Weren’t close enough to judge you

and they may have spoke too soon

While you were chasing treasure

I was down to my last dime

It may be someone’s day to save you but I don’t believe it’s mine

Don’t ask me for a blessing

my soul’s been torn apart

Just turn the light out gently

and take what’s left of my heart

I hope you’ll long remember

this weight I bore for you

My countenance is heavy

and there’s nothing more to prove

One glance of my redemption

may one day catch your eye

And though I may chance to see you you’ll never cross my mind

chorus:

Go on and find salvation

before your caught out in the dark

And leave me here repairing

just what’s left of my heart

Don’t pose like you’re the victor

I caught on from the start

I’ve built up my defenses

with what’s left of my heart

what’s left of my heart

what’s left of my heart

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MATCHBOOKS

AND INNOCENCE

And if I lost innocence

off of matchbooks and the drugs I took then

Let me loose the guilt of those I’ve done

For the love of some or another one

For the love of some or another one

So goodnight my child

and rest your head

Have no fear

you’ll wake up in your bed

Her head so filled with things to say

but she’s left for some or another day

So we watch the sun fall behind the gun of the guilt

For the love of some or another one

For the love of some or another one

And forgotten here

in my pages and notes

Are the answers to questions

that so lonely wrote

Of the days of me for all to see

in the love

of some or another one

For the love of some or another one

And to finally live

I don’t wanna give any more pain

To see I free myself from chains

that live inside to far to hide

And I’ve been dyin’ on the sidelines

in face that show the race I’ve won

For the love of some or another one

For the love of some or another one

And if I lost innocence

off of matchbooks and the drugs I took then

Let me loose the guilt of those I’ve done

For the love of some or another one

For the love of some or another one

You know you always were the one

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